Why are some goals so hard to keep? Like our goals to exercise more, lose weight or quit smoking. And why do we keep setting the same goals – again and again – even after we fail?

According to psychologist Dr. Janet Polivy, several new studies show that the human brain is “hard-wired” to be optimistic- which drives us to challenge ourselves, compete, and believe that we can achieve new things. But Dr. Polivy says there are times when our optimism can get the best of us, and sabotage our chances of success because we tend to set unrealistically high expectations for ourselves. This helps explain why 90 million of us set resolutions each year to lose weight – or to quit smoking – but only 1-in-10 of us succeed. Dr. Polivy says the key to reaching our goals is to be realistic because many studies show that people who make realistic changes in their life generally do succeed.

So, how can we set more realistic goals? Here are some tricks recommended by NYU psychologist, Dr. Peter Gollwitzer:

First: Don’t be afraid to fail. Because each time we fail to reach a goal, it’s a chance to learn from our mistakes, and come up with a better plan to try. And the more we try, the more likely we are to succeed.

Next: Avoid goals with the word “don’t” in them. Like telling yourself “don’t eat junk food anymore.” Stick with goals if that involve DOING something – like saying, “I will eat more fruits and vegetables”.

Another way to set realistic goals: Have an “if/then plan”. That’s a specific plan to replace a bad habit. So, if your bad habit is downing a pint of Haagen-Dasz when you have a bad day, Dr. Gollwitzer recommends: “If I have a bad day, then I’m going to call my best friend or spend an hour walking my dog.”

The takeaway is this: When you set smaller, realistic goals, studies show your odds of achieving them will skyrocket.

Happy New Year from The John Tesh Radio Show!